i barfeds in our rink
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
