My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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