shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
