i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
