Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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