So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
