This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
