wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
