Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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