You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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