Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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