Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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