I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
