Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
4 words: hood of his car
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
