Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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