you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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