Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
