Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
