Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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