I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
false alarm, still single
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
