Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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