nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
