i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
