Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
