what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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