im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
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