I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
