There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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