My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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