: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
