Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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