i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
