so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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