dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
