I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
