life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
