Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
