glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
