it's too hot outside to masturbate.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
