Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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