I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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