i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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