this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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