Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
