somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
