I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
