She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
