I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
