I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
