Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
