There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
